‘Painting the scene’ with our writing

In Year 5 we have been focusing on how to use various different techniques to help ‘paint the scene’ for the reader. These involve using similes, metaphors, adverbs and adjectives. As we are focusing on The Butterfly Lion by Michael Morpurgo in Literacy, we looked at extracts on how he used these within his writing. We then tried to write in a similar style. Here are two examples below describing the scene out of the window

 

As I gazed at the crop fields spread across the view, I noticed the blazing, bright orange sun. The rolling hills took my breath as I saw the forest to the right of me. It was spread all up to the mountain. All I could see was glistening leaves all over the horizon. The jewelled soft grass looked like paradise under the blazing sunset. Villages near the mountains made it the perfect view of autumn. All I wanted to do was run out of the house and explore the horizon under the sunset. The lake behind the forest was crystal clear, sapphire like and ripples of water came from popping bubbled from fish. The immense mountains spread for miles across the landscape. Birds circled all of the horizon like they found a particular place interesting. Trees waved to me like I was famous. The sun was getting darker as all of the wildlife came out of the forest.

Thomas – Year 5

 

As I gazed out of the window, my eyes blinked twice at the sight before me. Castle turrets glimmered in the sunshine. High and proud, the birds soared overhead, swooping through the air. Fluffy white clouds shone over the crystal effected path. Great oak chairs and tabled balanced on the luscious, jewelled grass. The trees waved at me in the gentle breeze, their leaves turning to the sun. Rare red roses lay before me.

Emily-Jane – Year 5

 

What do you see? How could you describe it?

 

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